The hard questions

The easy part’s the answer

The resolution to the cadence, the final pose of the dancer

The hard work’s dynamic tension

build the elegant clash, the clarity in a question

 

World shaking shift of continental drift

Earthquaking violence from a pace so placid

The twist in dioxy-ribonucleic acid

 

Einstein astride a soaring light beam

Nothing’s as absolute as it seemed

The revelation comes at the speed of light

A universe of relative wrongs and rights

No more can you trust the rules you revere

Time stops, space shrinks as it all becomes clear.

 

by Phil Dooley, written for The Poet’s Guide to Science play.

First performed at Smiths Alternative in Canberra, August 24, 2018, as part of National Science Week.

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Adelaide Fringe shows!

Excited to be in Adelaide in 2019 for my first Fringe!  Doing seven shows in six days, all at the Rob Roy Hotel, 106 Halifax St South Adelaide.

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Tuesday 12th March: Physics in the Pub  (booked out)

 

 

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Wednesday 13 March – Solo Show

The Most Amazing Planet in the Universe – an Astronomer’s Ode to Earth

 

 

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Thursday 14th March – Sunday 17th March

The Poet’s Guide to Science – a hilarious play of modern dilemmas, featuring working scientists

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Smells like Tauon Spirit

Tom Lehrer’s Elements Song is 150 years out of date – the science and the music (The Major General’s Song from Gilbert and Sullivan’s Pirates of Penzance) are both from late 1800s.

So it’s time for an update, to the tune of Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit. Video coming soon… email me if you want to hear it live!

SMELLS LIKE STANDARD MODEL

A memory for elements, I’ll leave that for the elephants
A 4×4 explains it all, matter, forces, light as well.

hydrogen , helium, lithium, they’re all done
Atom, proton, neutron they’re all gone.
Hello boson, hello lepton, Hello quarks in 3 rows-

CHORUS

Drop the table, Mr Lehrer, Standard model it’s much clearer
The colliders smash up atoms, matter’s only quarks and leptons,
like neutrinoes yeah neutrinoes ….

Quarks in threes are nucleons, But you can’t get a quark alone
The quarks in me are downs and ups, electrons, small, can’t break em up,

Quark charge, one third and sometimes two
Baryon three quarks, meson only two
Electrons’re leptons, neutrinos too, and there are two more rows-

CHORUS

There’s an up quark and a down one,
strange and charm quarks, Top and butt quarks.
Tau & muons are fat electrons, and neutrinos come in three rows

Yeah neutrinos, mu neutrinos, tau neutrinos,

Antimatter, it’s no sin,  just flip the charge and quantum spin
A photon’s light, waves of course, & carries electromagnetic force
Magnetic fields’re no magic trick, it’s just a boson swapping quick.
They’re virtual, too short to see. They bind the quarks in me-

CHORUS

Interactions, they’re all bosons, ‘lectromagnets are just photons,
there’s a strong one, it’s a gluon, weak force W and Z bosons.

In Geneva, found a big one, It’s not special, God’s no boson

Higgs boson, a higgs boson, a higgs boson …

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Would you let me put drugs in your brain?

The amazing Dr Kiara Bruggeman gets all Dr Seuss with her rhyme about her PhD research to develop a bandaid for the brain. Previously she won FameLab people’s choice award with this piece.

 

Filmed at Health and Medical in the Pub at Smiths Alternative in Canberra. Supported by National Science Week ACT, ANU Medical School, Australian Society for Medical Research.

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Duck sex is so wrong

For Patricia Brennan, duck penis researcher from University of Massachusetts..

Give thanks for the birth of Duck minor
Mother duck has a corkscrew vagina
But daddy’s erection
curls in the other direction
Proof God’s no intelligent designer

Duck love making’s no simple deed
what’s more god has deceed
that the knob of this stud
will drop off in the mud
as soon as he’s planted his seed

If you think this seems a sad song
the drake will regrow his dong
this new percy I’ve heard
measures a third of the bird
a behemoth that’s 8 inches long!

Things then get wronger and wronger
Sir Drake scares his mates with his donger
If he thinks he’s the king
it shows up in his thing
which grows to be 20 % longer

So you think your love life’s out of luck
Be thankful you are not a duck.
your bits stay attached
and your organs are matched
when you’re both in the mood for a ….. cuddle.

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